


Good Things Do Happen

by AthenaErrata



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bisexual Dean Winchester, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:55:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,477
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26422264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AthenaErrata/pseuds/AthenaErrata
Summary: Set in s13, Cas gets back from The Empty and Dean doesnt want to lose anther second.Follows on from previous story Whats happened with Me and Cas. This probably reads better if you read that first as then you get the back story which is also satisfyingly canon compliant.This goes heavily off-canon and we aint ever going back.Planning some sequels that will be less fluffy cos they cant just work out all smoothly.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Kudos: 19





	Good Things Do Happen

**Author's Note:**

> Dean and Cas get together after The Empty.

And so he’s standing there and there's Cas, Cas! And he’s kissing him again and again and he doesn’t even know what he’s saying. He can't stop. He’s so fucking grateful, its _Cas._ Who is looking a bit taken aback, but rolling with it. Smiling as he kisses back. How could it be this easy? If he’d only known it would be this easy: to just kiss him, to just let it out, let it show. That he loves Cas. And there’s that smell, right when you get in close to Cas’ skin. Like ozone, like the rain or just before a thunderstorm. He thought that smell had gone after Cas lost much of his power, but up close like this he can smell it again and it gets to Dean in the best way. It reminds him of way back when. Back when they used to fuck and Cas, more or less still fully powered up, had just reeked of it. For years after Dean found he got a semi just before it rained, sense memory or something. Fuuuuck he’s pulling Cas closer. He wants him close, wants to feel every part of him against his own body. To taste him, touch him.

Cas' hands run over his forearms, soothing and stilling him. Dean meets his eyes dazed and Cas gives a little half head tilt to where his brother is kinda watching and sorta pretending he's not watching them. Sam is in the shadows, looking a little embarrassed, but pleased.

“Er..yeah..um..” For once Dean's lost for words.

Sam just grins and takes a step forward to clasp Cas into a back-thumpingly manly hug

“Good to have you back Cas,” his brother says, “it wasn’t going too well without you.” Sam tries for levity flicking his eyes to Dean, but the pain’s in there too. It’s been bad, really, really bad.

Jerk, Dean thinks, but he’s just too damn happy to care. Happy doesn’t cover it. He’s out of his mind with how good this is. This second chance he hasn’t dared to hope for.  
Cas looks at his shoes for a minute, clearly unsure of the right protocol here

“I can see you missed me?” 

“And then some” Sam chuckles, but his eyes are soft and suspiciously wet. Sam’s a bloody softie. “Want me to drive?” he offers.

“Hell no” Dean retorts, “I’m taking us home!”

\--x—

In the car on the way back he wonders if that was the right call. His eyes and attention keep skipping back to the angel in the back seat and it's lucky the roads are empty. When they pull up outside the bunker he crowds into Cas who is trying to get out. His hands and mouth are possessive now. Dean’s waited too long, wanted too long. He forgets Sam’s there until Sam slams Baby’s door a little too forcefully to jolt him out of the little universe of ‘Cas is back’ that’s formed around Dean

“So how do you want to play this?" Sam indicates the bunker. “Jack’s probably up.” He waits.

Cas jerks at the name, Jack, he rubs at his eyes and looks at Dean who is trying to keep every shred of 'please, please just take me to bed' off his face and failing miserably. Cas huffs out a short laugh, its wry but not bitter.

“Maybe I should have tried dying earlier” he deadpans.

Dean goes stiff: “Don’t even say that, don’t even fucking think it!”

Cas touches his arm trying to reassure him.

It's Sam who provides the out, he looks at them standing there, clutching at each other, and takes pity

‘You guys need this, like, right now. So…I’m going to go in there and I’m going to get super-kid to go to bed, in my side of the bunker, and you guys…I guess... we’ll see you in the morning.’

And with that he’s gone. Cas still looks a little dumbstruck and Dean's scared Cas is going to follow Sam into the bunker and see Jack. Which is sort of what Cas would do, cos Cas is Cas. He’s responsible and it'd be the right thing to do. But Dean needs him right now and everything in him just cant let go of this moment. He wants Cas to himself - just for a little while.

But Cas looks at him puzzled ‘Dean what is going on?’

Dean sags, is this the bit where Cas says its too late? He’s missed his shot.

‘Cas, you’ve been dead three months, we burnt your body. I burnt..’ He blinks back tears trying not to think of that awful day.

Understanding flares in Cas’ eyes. ‘Its been that long?’ he says shocked.

Dean nods, his throat feels tight.

‘And you thought I was dead?’

Dean nods again. He tries to swallow the lump in his throat to force the words out but his voice rasps and quavers round it. ‘I love you Cas. I've loved you for a long time. I thought I was too late. I thought I'd never get to tell you…’

It feels like the longest ever silence as Cas takes it in. Dean feels like he’s sinking, like the grounds gonna swallow him whole. He’s still too late, he’s left it too late. Whatever they had, it's long gone and he's out here making a tit of himself with the man he’s called his best friend for so long that even he’d started to believe that’s all it was. His hand drops down from Cas’ side, breaking the contact between them. He feels his face flushing hot with embarrassment and pain and blinks his eyes rapidly. This is too far gone to shrug off, to play it off as nothing. His mouth has gone totally dry, but he’s got to try to work some words out.

‘Look Cas, I’m sorry. I guess I left it too long. I’m sorry’, he’s trying to take a step back when Cas catches him half way through his next ‘I’m sorry.’

‘Dean, no that’s not what I mean. I’m just…. I stopped believing you would ever feel what I do. I was content trying to be your friend, after what I did, I thought we’d never…’

And just like that Dean’s confidence soars. He knows what he’s always known: that for Cas this is the way it is for him. Always there, just beneath the surface: constant. And while Cas still is all at sea, trying to adjust, Dean knows exactly what needs to come next.

He catches Cas’ gaze and leans a tiny bit closer and lets his hand come up to rest over Cas’ heart. Letting the solid sense of Cas’ presence fill his senses. Cas is right here, alive, in front of him. And the thing that is between them springs into life, this gigantic thing they’ve been pretending for years isn’t there and doesn’t exist. This attraction, like a riptide, just under the surface. Dean lets go and lets it carry him forward, closing the space between them and they are kissing like it’s the air they fucking breathe.

His hands are wandering seeking skin, one slides up over Cas heart to his collar and higher to feel the pulse in Cas’ neck. His living pulse hammering away. An overwhelming tide of something feels like its going to knock Dean over: Cas’ pulse. The memory of his cold dead body rises in Dean’s mind, but he quashes it. Cas is here now and it's ok, it better than ok. It's fucking awesome. His other hand snakes round Cas’ waist, sneaking under the trench, untucking his shirt to find skin. His fingers graze up over Cas' side, the taut stomach and the lower rungs of ribs skate under his touch as the angel shudders. It feels like something finally sparks ‘go!’ inside Cas and he moans strong arms pulling Dean tight to him. They pull apart a while later, dazed and stupid by the enormity of what's happening.

‘You wanna?’ Dean gestures at the bunker's entrance. Cas gives him a look that is simultaneously fond and heated.

‘Yes, I wanna’ he repeats. His intonation’s all wrong and its like music to Deans’ ears. God how he’s missed him.

\---x---

By the time they get to his room Dean is already beyond turned on. He’d forgotten the unrestrained way in which Cas kisses. It’s wet and fierce and open. They’re moaning against each others’ mouths, licking, tasting. That angel ozone taste that lingers close to Cas’ skin is in his mouth now. Dean feels like he could die happy. Whatever they’ve been holding back for years comes rushing back and they only manage to get some of their clothes off before they are grinding against each other on his bed panting and gasping. It's embarrassingly quick when he comes, jolting rackingly into his still partly-on boxers. Cas swipes a finger though it to taste, curious, and smiles unabashedly at him as he does so. Dean has always found Cas’ inhuman lack of inhibition in bed nothing other than fucking hot. He grins at him and kisses him open-mouthed to get the taste of himself off Cas’ tongue. They lie back panting, Cas still kinda humping against his hip.

‘Sorry man, I guess it’s been a while’ Dean offers.

But he’s not ashamed or anything, he knows they are good in the sack, that was never their problem. He starts working some of Cas’ clothes actually off rather than just open. As each article removed confirms the reality of Cas being here more firmly to him. His hands start to shake: Cas is here, he’s actually here. He gets to do this. He’s trying hard not to lose it when Cas cups his cheek to bring his gaze up to him. Those deep blue eyes are gentle and concerned, but it makes the shaking worse. Dammit he doesn’t want to cry, not here, not now. But Cas just murmurs his name and shushes him. Hands stroking his face, gentle and slow.

‘Its ok Dean, we don’t have to rush this.’

But we do, screams Dean's brain, I don’t want to miss anything, I don’t want to have things I regret. He wants to rush through every possible position, wants to touch and taste and lick and suck every part of Cas right the fuck now. But his hands are shaking and his eyes are welling up. His throat’s closing and he’s fucking going to cry. He’s so frustrated with himself for not making the most of everything. Cas’ hands close over his, strong and steady, calming him, pulling him closer to kiss his wet eyes and brush the stubble on their faces together. Brushing over Dean’s face as he looks at him.

‘Dean, you’re distressed.’

He shakes his head, no he isn’t. He’s happy, he’s so damn happy he doesn’t know what to do with himself that’s all.

Cas holds him and the panic of it fades under the sureness of strong hands gentling him like a nervous animal. When he’s calm Cas’ hands get bolder again exploring him with evident appreciation as he kisses him long and slow.

‘Cas?’

‘Mmm-hmm?’

Dean needs to get this out, whatever else happens tonight, or even doesn’t, this, he knows, cant wait any longer.

‘Tonight, want you in me tonight.’

Cas stares at him for a moment. Cas knows things, secret, painful, things about Dean that mean he understands exactly the weight of what's being offered.

‘Dean..’ he starts

‘Please, don’t argue with me. I cant stand it, I cant wait. Don’t want to. Please Cas.’

‘You don’t have to do this, we don’t have to.’

But Cas catches the agonised look on Dean’s face and stops to kiss him instead. ‘You can say stop, whenever you need to, ok?’

They go back to languorous kissing for a while. He’s forgotten how good this feels with Cas, there’s an openness to kissing Cas he’s never experienced with anyone else. Utter unselfconsciousness. He feels himself relax into it. Cas moves on to suck him a bit. Taking him in whole right from the get go which makes Dean gasp out ‘oh G_’ before he catches himself and whispers ‘sorry.’ Cas quirks an eyebrow at him. The only thing that ever made Cas pissy in bed was that, Dean remembers his stern admonition: "Don’t bring my Father into this’.

‘You still don’t like that huh?’

‘I still don’t.’ Cas confirms.

The years since they last did this seem to have crumbled into nothingness.

‘Can I try something?’

Dean nods and Cas sucks lower, wetting Dean’s taint before his mouth is right back there over his hole, laving over it in broad wet strokes. Dean goes rigid for a minute, fear jolting through him. But Cas kisses the meat of his thigh and murmurs ‘its me, its ok’ before going back to rimming him. It feels weird at first, invasive, and then he gets used to it and pretty soon it feels incredible. He’s writhing against Cas mouth, twitching at the touch of his tongue. He feels himself slowly soften and loosen back there, feels himself want to be filled. He’s canting his hips up into Cas face, shameless. He wants to be fucked, not just as something he wants to have done with Cas, but he wants it because what Cas is doing feels so damn good he’s going out of his mind. Cas pulls up to smile at him.

‘You like that too’, Cas says, ‘I always wondered if you’d like that.’

"You wondered?"

Cas crooks a smile: 'I wondered a lot of things.'

Dean flushes, but offers Cas the lube from his nightstand. Cas goes back to kissing and licking him as Dean's moans get more wanton. Then he gently, and with remarkable expertise, scissors him open. Teasing and stretching him until Dean is basically fucking himself on three of Cas fingers, his eyes wide at the sensations it's drawing from him. Cas adds more and more lube teasing his cock along Deans crack, against his hole until Dean basically thinks its getting ridiculous. But then he slides in and its precisely enough lube. The feeling of being filled makes Dean’s breath catch. Cas is big, feels huge inside him, he can feel himself twitch and clench around Cas' length. Cas groans at the feeling, panting to stay still, to allow Dean to get used to it and relax. They strain towards each other to kiss and Cas rocks into him gently. There’s a spark of intense sensation and Deans' eyes fly wide. Cas smirks at him, wolfish for the first time.

‘Tell me where that was’ he says, lifting Dean to try to strike different angles inside him until Dean goes: ‘There, yes, right there. But its too sensitive.’

Cas smiles, ‘just wait’ he says, hovering over the area until Dean's breathing deepens again. And then Cas fucks him slowly and smoothly, gliding over his prostrate with each stroke. Dean feels helpless, lost in it, there's an orgasm that seems to turn him inside out. But he’s still hard when Cas stops to let him breathe. Dean's chest is heaving, damp with sweat. He’s speechless, he’d mainly hoped it wouldn’t be awful, hadn’t even considered it could feel good, let alone this good. He looks up at Cas who has somehow found the wherewithal to be concerned in this scenario.

‘Are you ok?’ Cas asks.

Only Cas would blow him several miles past ok, but still be worried about him. Dean wraps his arms around him pulling him down into a kiss that incudes mumbling the words ‘I love you’ against Cas’ lips. That ratchets up the hunger in Cas' eyes, and just to see it again Dean repeats it more clearly, looking into Cas eyes to declare ‘I love you’ again.

The angel seems to crack in front of him, kissing him fervently as Dean says it again and again. Calling it out as Cas starts thrusting in earnest. Everything seems to ball together totally overwhelming him, Cas’ death, Cas being back, doing this with Cas, everything, and the ecstasy of finally just admitting it: that he loves Cas. When Cas comes inside him, Dean explodes and basically its just perfect

They talk and explore each other all night. It feels like old times, except they’ve ditched the lies this time. Neither of them is pretending this is just a good fuck that doesn’t mean anything anymore. They may be daunted by what it does mean, but it's been too long coming and they are glad of it. It makes both of them more tender than they were before. Cas is still has that curious openness that Dean's always loved with him. But he's got a whole new bag of tricks too. When Dean asks about it, he shrugs and says ‘fuck buddy’. The momentary jealousy that flares up dies down at the sadness in Cas' face as he adds: ‘Dean, he wasn’t you’ like that explains everything

But finally Dean’s exhausted

‘Cas, will you stay here with me tonight?’

Cas nods smiling 'I'll watch over you' and Dean can't help laughing quietly at how nice that is.

‘I don’t wanna wake up without you here.’

\---x---

Dean wakes up the next morning to find himself alone. He jerks up to scan the room anxiously, surely it can’t have been a dream? But there's no sign of Cas, or even of Cas’ clothing. Nothing. The room is neat as always. He closes his eyes and groans feeling the awful sinking feeling that settles on him every morning. He’s got to stop this, got to stop dreaming of Cas every night. It's driving him nuts. He sits on the edge of the bed trying to gather his thoughts. Last night was so vivid, so coherent. He can remember every moment. How could that have been a dream? Usually its snatches that come back to him from the dreams Cas haunts. His voice, a conversation that doesn’t make sense but seems utterly normal, because when did conversations with Cas ever not get weird in unexpected ways? Or the feel of his skin, his memories of touching Cas, of them together. Or he dreams of Cas' smile that seems to offer such limitless understanding and affection.

Dean notices the sheets are crusted and wrinkles his nose. He’s cum in his sleep. Is that going to be a thing now? He can't touch himself without a rush of sadness, but he’s having fluffy romantic dreams of Cas? That's going to suck. He tries to shrug it off, so what? He’s backed up, hasn’t come in weeks, it's normal to have the occasional wet dream even if he’s almost forty isn’t it? But his throat closes at the devastating sense of loss he feels. He never lets his thoughts go that far, but last night was everything he’d ever wanted. They’d made love. He mentally cringes at the phrase. But his heart clenches at realising that making love with Cas is something he wants so badly, but is never going to have. It still feels incomprehensible to Dean that Cas is gone. For all their losses, all their fighting, it just never really seemed possible for him to lose Cas. Like Cas was just ‘his’ somehow, belonged to him in a way he can’t articulate. Now he knows he was wrong. Not only is Cas not with him anymore, but, he realises, he never was. They never did this, they never had a night like that and now its too late. Dean screws his eyes shut, trying to muster up resolve. Today he’s got to do better, try not to fly off the handle, drink less, be nicer to the kid. Today he’s going to get in the saddle again he tells himself. But he knows he’s been telling himself that every morning for weeks and every day it falls apart. Because he’s tired, he's so damn tired, and he just can't see the point anymore. He gets up to make his way to the kitchen.

In the corridor he hears voices, low conversation in the kitchen. He guesses the kid is up already and steels himself. He has to be nicer to Jack. It’s not Jack's fault. He needs to get past it, but sometimes Dean hates him almost viscerally. He hates the way he looks like Cas, has mannerisms that remind him of Cas. But something's different. The other voice he can hear in the kitchen, the voice that isn’t Sam’s, that voice doesn’t sound like Jack. It’s a deep burbling rumble. Dean freezes for a moment. Then he starts running.

He bursts into the kitchen to find Cas in front of the coffee maker talking to Sam who is sitting at the table. They look up startled. Dean is so taken aback that the first thing that rushes up in him is a kind of outrage.

‘You said you’d stay, you’d be there’, he hurls at Cas.

‘You said.. why don’t you do what you say?! I asked you! I asked you!’ Dean's close to raging now.

Cas’ face is puzzled, surprised at his outburst.

‘But Dean you like coffee. In the morning, you _like_ coffee..’

It falls into place, Cas is making him coffee. Cas is here. And he's making him coffee.

Dean just collapses into him. ‘I thought, I thought’, he starts, barely able to get the words out.

‘I thought… last night, thought I'd dreamed it. Cas every night, every night, I dream of you and every morning…’, he's really starting to cry now, burying his face in the angel’s neck as his shoulders shake and the words come out a hiccupping, burbling, mess. ‘Every morning it’s like losing you again’.

Sam watches in amazement as Cas holds Dean, just holds him and lets Dean cry. He knows how much losing Cas meant to Dean. He’s been watching his brother fall apart, but he hasn’t seen Dean break down, not like this.

He watches the two men hold each other and feels something like awe. He shouldn’t be here, seeing this, its intimate. His brother’s need is so incredibly raw it hurts to watch. But he can’t look away as Cas murmurs soothingly:

‘I’m here, I’m here’.

And Dean repeats 'You’re here’.

‘With you’.

Sam can barely hear Dean's muffled, incredulous, ‘with me’.

His brother pulls back and laughs, dazedly patting at Cas’

‘Why have you got all these clothes on?’ His hands wander over Cas' coat, his collar, his tie.

‘Theres not a trace of you in my room, you could have left the tie at least, or your coat. Like a clue’.

Cas puzzled ‘I got dressed’ makes Dean snort.

‘Of course you did …and you tidied up’

‘Well I _am_ an angel’.

Dean just stares at him, lost in it.

Sam watches Cas wipe the snot that’s run from Dean's nose without a trace of disgust and kiss Dean gently, but firmly, on the mouth.

‘I love you’ Dean voice is quiet and sure, ‘I wasn’t just saying that last night. I love you Cas. Last night was..’

Cas smiles into his brothers’ eyes leaning their foreheads together like they share a secret and kisses him again. All he says is ‘Dean’, but you could read verses into it.

They come to out of their little bubble and turn to look at Sam sheepishly, Dean’s still tear-streaked. Sam grins at him and Dean tries to play it off sticking out his tongue as he wipes at them. But halfway he just sags into Cas with relief.

The coffee maker hisses steam as it finishes percolating and Cas frowns:

‘So do you want coffee?’

‘Yeah but’, he looks at Sam who is enjoying the spectacle of his brother totally undone a rather too much for his liking. ‘Look, I’ll go back to my room and you can bring it ok?’

Dean leaves and Cas looks at Sam bewildered

‘But that’s exactly what I was doing!’

Sam can’t help grinning, he spreads his hands in a don’t ask me gesture and Cas shakes his head turning back to the coffee. Before he has a chance to deliver a cup to Dean's room, Jack walks in. Sam thinks he needs to make introductions, but Jack just looks at Cas in utter delight.

‘Castiel’ he breathes, ‘I missed you, so much’.

There's hugging and talking, and a while later Dean wanders in grumbling to pick up his own coffee. There's a momentary unspoken tug of war before Cas heads out with Jack adding an apologetic glance at Dean who’s obviously missing him already. Dean handles it with something close to good grace grousing ‘yeah, yeah, I get it, now go’ as he shoos Cas off. Dean shoots Sam a warning look to not say anything, fixes himself a breakfast tray and disappears.

Sam leans back in his chair and smiles. He’s seen a lot of things, but this feels like one of the weirdest. He’s just seen his own brother, Dean freaking Winchester, head over heels in love. Jesus he’s just heard his brother have sex with another man more or less all night – the bunker echoes worse than he’d feared. Sam hopes they haven’t done untold damage to the kid. He wishes he hadn’t heard Dean and Cas go at it himself, whatever else parenting books advise he's sure they would advise against that...not that it was… oh god no hes not going to review that performance in his head. That would be bad. He shakes himself onto other thoughts, just over an hour ago Dean was standing in this kitchen telling someone he loves them and it wasn’t even a near death situation. Although, Sam supposes, it was a post-death situation, so maybe that still counts as a death-proximate ‘I love you’ and is therefore not totally new ground? He’s being an idiot, he wishes he had someone to tell, wants to call Charlie or Jody. He won’t, but he wants to. It's big and it's new, but for once it could be something good.

\----x---

Sam finds Dean alone in his room later. Cas and Jack have gone out for a kind of mutated father son angel bonding thing. Dean is sitting up in bed, music playing, the remnants of a breakfast tray next to him.

‘Is it safe to come in?’

Dean raises his eyebrows, his room is neat, tidy even. Advantages of an angel boyfriend he smiles. Theres no trace of the considerable night they’ve had. Oh boyfriend...that raises both cringe and utter joy.

‘Yeah its safe’, he rolls his eyes. ‘Nothing you’ve not seen before.’

Their years on the road have left little room for privacy. There’s little the brothers haven’t seen of each other, but there's tacit agreement not to mention various indiscretions over the years. Dean’s the worse offender, but they’ve each had an eyeful of the others’ hook ups. When they moved into the bunker they decided not to bring girls home anymore – or guys. Guys is something Sam hasn’t seen anyway. Sam knows Dean goes both ways for some time now, but it’s all in theory. Dean' told Sam about Cas, what happened with Cas years ago, but anything he does with other men he's kept firmly out of Sam's eyeshot. Dean strongly suspects Sam has spent the last few years pissed at him for chickening out on that front. Sam does a good line in disappointed looks. But the bunker is home, not a motel, and they wanted to keep it theirs. So, no hook ups get brought here, until last night, last night when Dean and Cas took things to a whole new level.

‘Safe to say you guys are an item then?’

Dean tries to roll his eyes, but he can't help the enormous grin that spreads across his face. Or the flaming blush that comes hot on its heels.

‘Guess we were kind of loud?’

Sam flushes a bit too. ‘Yeah um...the bunker echoes.’

Dean can't help it, he’s flamingly hot at the thought of what Sam (and probably Jack) overheard. It's dumb cos if he’d brought a chick home he wouldn’t be burning up the way he is. It’s the thought that Sam heard him taking it, heard him fucking loving taking it, that’s making his toes curl.

‘Dean, er…its ok. I’m glad, you and Cas that’s a good thing. I’m happy for you, both of you. It's been a long time coming.’

‘You’re not..?’

Sam shakes his head smiling. ‘No, Dean, no. Look its big, you and Cas, you know. But it's good right?’

‘Yeah, it's good’ Dean repeats smiling like a fool.

Then he catches his double entendre and flushes again. Christ he’s like a teenager, oversharing and embarrassed at the same time. Last night was good, really really good. And who knew Cas would be so amazing at that, well he does know sex with Cas is mind-blowing. But he didn’t know it could be like what happened last night. It’s always been hot between them, hot, frantic, urgent, needy and even just fun. Yesterday was of a different order. He’s spent months wishing for all the things he’d never got to do with Cas, everything he’d never got to say and he’d just not held back, at all. This morning it feels awesome, but its new territory for Dean being this far out in the open. But he wants this with Cas, he really, really, wants it.

Sam’s watching him a quizzical look on his face.

‘What?’

‘I dunno Dean’. He gestures at the bed, ‘can I?’

Dean nods shuffling over to make room as Sam sits next to him.

‘You know I’m not squicked right? By you and Cas.’

Dean nods

‘I don’t think less of you or anything, you got that, right?’

Dean nods again

‘So what is it?’

‘What’s what?’ Dean frowns.

‘For someone who’s just had the thing he’s been praying for land in his lap you seem kinda tense’, Sam notes.’ I dunno, youre twitchy, if somethings wrong I just want to make sure that’s not because you think I think something that I don’t.’

They smile at each other, it’s been a long journey to here. . Dean has issues, ishoos really, big ones, about the fact he likes guys that way.Dean nods and says quietly

‘I know, I know you don’t. Still takes a while for my brain to catch up, but I do know that Sam..’

‘Then what is it?’

‘Its nothing’ Dean says

‘Nothing?’

‘Really’

‘Come on’

Dean looks down at the blankets a long time.

‘Its stupid’, he says quietly, ‘with all that’s happened I cant believe how stupid this is. But before’.

He takes a deep hitching breath, ‘before Cas died the one thing I had was that me and Cas where always ahead of me still. Something that could happen, one day. This great perfect thing that could happen, one day…And then he died and every day, every day, I regretted that I never did anything, never said anything. That it was too late. And I swore to myself that if ever, if ever, I got a second chance. I'd take it. You know?’

Sam frowns, he doesn’t get it.

‘So, here’s my second chance, and I’m going for it. But now, I don’t know how to explain it. Now that’s its happening, being with Cas isn’t this perfect thing for one day. Its now. And one day it can go wrong, one day it can be over.’

‘Alright’, says Sam, ‘I get that, but that doesn’t meant it has to go that way..’

That makes Dean scoff ‘Ok, have you met me?!’

‘Dean.’

‘No seriously Sam, what are the chances this works out right? Ive had a relationship more or less never.’

‘Dean, stop this. You’ve never had the chance at a relationship, is that so surprising given the lives we lead?’

‘But I…’

Sam interrupts him gently, but sternly: ‘But you nothing. You are just going to take this a day at a time, and if something goes wrong you will fix it, you and Cas will fix it.’

Dean nods dumbly at him, trying to pin this into is mind: we’ll fix it, it goes wrong we will fix it.

‘Yeah Yeah OK.’ He takes a deep shuddering breath ‘I’m dont want to lose him again.’

And so Dean resolves to park his rising fear that something has to go wrong, because something always does. And he’s parked himself in the alcove where a small window gives him a view of the path. Totally not watching for Cas return, just you know looking out, enjoying the view and all that.

In the afternoon he sees them coming over the rise where the path dips and curves down towards the river that separates the bunker from the town. Cas incongruous in his business man attire, Jack like a cross between a teenage boy and a woodland sprite, all lean and windblown. They are talking and nodding. They make a nice tableau he thinks, even from afar theres that odd similarity, like Jack has moulded himself to look in some way like his adoptive father. Although he doesnt really, he looks like Kelly, but theres something in the set of his face, the tilt when he narrows his eyes that’s so Cas. And Cas, unbelievably, is just out there walking up the hill, his coat catching the breeze. Dean allows himself a moment just to look at him. Just look, he’s too far away to really see his features.

Dean just looks at Cas, getting slowly closer, and he lets go of that brake he’s had inside for so many years. The brake where he doesn’t allow himself to feel what he really feels when he looks at Cas. Because they are just friends, because he had determined that they would only be friends. And he takes the brake off and allows the feeling Cas gives him to rise inside him, to swell, like some balloon, lifting off within him. And it fills him with a warmth that just grows and grows. Fuck its big enough to build houses in he thinks. There’s a brief moment where he thinks that doesn’t even make sense, but he dismisses it, because he knows exactly what he means. Its big enough to build houses in. The two figures are still too far away to see properly but he can make out their faces more clearly now. They shouldn’t be able to see him through the glass, but what do you know with angel-vision and all that. He feels Cas’ eyes seek him out and knows with absolute certainty that Cas can see him because there’s a smile that just blossoms over Cas’ face. Jack looks at Cas and grins, following his gaze to where Dean is standing in the window, he thought, unseen.

By the time they’ve made it back all three of them are grinning like fools. Dean feels like a dork, but he’s making an exception. Its Cas’ first full day back, and that entitles him to dorkiness. As they burst into the kitchen Jack is excited:

‘I couldn’t believe it, it really does shine’

‘Huh?’

‘Your soul’, Jack continues, ‘Your soul shines. Castiel told me it did, but I hadn’t seen it so I thought maybe I cant see souls, you know? But then when we were coming up the hill there it was. You’re like a lighthouse!’

Deans non-plussed. ‘My soul shines?’

Cas is smiling at him with quiet content. ‘When you’re happy it does, other times it's harder to see.’

‘Then I guess I’m happy’ Dean says. He’s trying for gruff but it doesn’t come out that way. Impulsively he presses a kiss onto the side of Cas’ head. Its somewhere between a manly back thumping hug and a gentle peck. He cant quite get the register right, but it happens and it feels good.

Jack is looking back and forth between them like an excited puppy.

‘Castiel and I have been talking, Ive learnt so much already, its going to be so good he’s here. You know it was me who woke him in the empty’

‘What!?’

‘Yeah we figured it out, I didn’t realise it. I don’t understand what I am doing a lot really, but I missed him and I could feel your longing for him and I used that to find him. You see, my longing wasn’t specific enough cos I hadn’t met Castiel, well not here in this world, not really met. But your longing was big and real and specific. And it was powerful enough for me to make a connection. So then I woke him and he did the rest.’

The kid reels it off like it’s a cool science experiment or something. Deans dumbstruck. Jack did this, Jack got Cas back. Because Dean longed for him. The past weeks suddenly feel horrendously close again and he pulls Jack into a hug to hide his wet eyes.

‘Thanks kid’ he manages to croak out.

He lets Jack go and it gets awkward. He wants to say sorry for how he’s been but he’s been so awful he doesn’t even know where to start.

‘I know, Ive been hard on you. And mean. I’m sorry. Really I am. I wish I…’

But super-kid just grins again. ‘Its ok Dean. Castiel explained that you can be a difficult man.’

Sam’s entered the room by now and snorts at that as Dean turns to the traitorous Cas.

‘You think I’m a difficult man?!’

Cas’ tone is somber ‘I would say that is accurate’, but he’s smiling.

\---x---

They go out for dinner to celebrate. Cas sits next to him, Sam across. There’s steaks and chips. Cas has one of those strawberry milkshakes he likes and swipes Dean’s fries. Dean’s not quite sure how to act in this new constellation. If Cas was a chick, he’d be all over him right now. Instead apart from the constant secret and not-so-secret smiles they keep giving each other it’s a bit like always. Dean hopes that’s a good sign, or at least not bad one.

Towards the end he leans back to savour the sight of the three of them engrossed in a conversation he can’t really follow. Wavelengths and some such. Sam's intense, Jack excited and Castiel considered. Dean takes in an overriding sense of gratitude. His love, his family, all of it is right here. Thank you he thinks hard to whatever is out there to whom it might be wise to give thanks. Jacks gaze pops up briefly to meet his with total clarity.

‘You’re welcome’ he says.


End file.
